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Y


Sunday, October 09, 2005

had almost a full day of break...didn't know what to do...just didn't feel like studying...my brain has drained a lot previously...so it was time to give it a break and stop absorbing anything that was tough for it...hahax.

still have to head for project work soon after my short break...so better take this period to enjoy...even though i know i am going to drop a lot of $....hahax. (what a word)

i have given my brains some thoughts about some things here and there...especially what happened to me this whole year...i realise that there is so much to change about me for the better. hahax. so much. haven't really been veri happie this whole year....(but that doesn't mean i am complaining, becox i still have some happie moments) smileX.

ya, think i will be busY going out this few days to play.heeX. i tink i get angri and upset easily. mabi i should stop being so stupiD. only makes me worst and more pessimistic. mabi i should stop thinking so much. only makes me feel bad. mabi i should treasure what i have around me now... ...who knows what will happen tomorrow?

i wish that i will not get angry at least till the end of the year...even if i am, it will be less than a day. i wish that i will not get sad at least till the end of the year...even if i am, it will be less than an hour.

to think of it, actualli i shld be glad that life is not as tough as i always thought. just that sometimes we tend to get too emotional over things that we don't realise the extreme that we have reached. mabi we should realli let go of some things that we cannot keep and move on with life so that things will just get smoother. mabi i should stay happy no matter what happen in my life. but...that's just easy to be said, difficult to be done..

but it beats better than NOT TRYING, i guess. i should get happier so that my brain don't get damaged and paralysed at the age of 20. hahax. i should stop following ppl's views. mabiX. and stop saying the same things as people as if i am a copiecat. hahax. mabi it is time for me to say what i want. but i realise that is not advisable. so, alternatively, i guess i will just say my opinions to a certain extent.

the neXt thing i thought of changing for very long...i think it will be veri difficult. that is, don't talk so much and become a bit more quiet. but the problem is i am veri quiet in my family le laX. so normalli i go school i will tend to talk quite a lot deX. but, i realise that this is not someting good. people also need peace bax. but then that will lose my own element. as in, that is how i behave. (so contradicting) somemore, i dislike the atmosphere when no one talks. it gets so weird. so i was thinking to make a decision. and i have decided to keep to my own element! hahax. (lamE..dotX) but then, only talk at times when i feel necessary to add in the element. if the conversation is still going on, i might as well spare some thoughts and peace for my little brain...(hahax.) i will still talk with some sacarsm plus fun at times...the usual me. hahax. (but please don't be offended...i am always so afraid that what i said which is meant to be casual and just joking....is taken seriously) but sometimes, i think my words can hurt ppl. so, yes, for that, i think i must also learn to stop. getting rid of the extra sacarsm but keep the fun part (sounds difficult)....in conclusion, to be less "san ba"...for the sake of my brain also. hahax. i am realli thinking of how difficult it will be for me....(but i will tell my friend to keep track)...but then if i am not like that hoh, then how can i be the usual me?? (so contradictory!)

hahax.

and i shld go out and play more often at this period. (as in sports?) hahax. some ppl laughing le ba....hahax. ya, sounds so impossible. hahax. but can TRY la. aniwae, i am not a sports-idiot for goodness...hahax.

kkkkk....

think i can end off here leX..
hahax.

smile always
take care
(yX)

Sweet-ed <3
3:17 PM