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Monday, May 31, 2010

一直在想该写些什么吗。
人在写什么时总会有一些顾虑。毕竟,部落格已经不属于我自己了的。
在某种范围下,它必须承受着一些眼光。

回归重点。
今天是非常平常的一天。只不过,在这样平凡的一天里,一件窝心的事情总会让人感到莫名的快乐。当然也不需要怎么提起,但有一种如释重负的感觉。外加一点点的惊喜。各参半。但我必须承认这是一种 似乎把沉重的石子丢去的好感觉。最起码,我知道我自己的方向。虽然不太确定。

当然,我也了解世界是公平的。给你一些,也选择不给你一些。我依然感激我现在所拥有的。至于其他方面的人生,暂时真的不是我想理会的。当然,少了这一点,或许偶尔会感到少了些什么。但我知道这是为了自己好,也是为了让自己能更专注,更清醒。

快乐,也可以很单纯。
也可以一个人。
只要曾经努力地付出,
我依然相信会有收成的一天。

smile always
take care
(yanxing)2010

Sweet-ed <3
11:14 AM


Friday, May 21, 2010

it is 2am. and i am feeling quite exhausted for the fact that i slept at near 6am the last night. just couldnt get to sleep for no official reasons. or probably because i knew i was going to celebrate my birthday? lolz.

but i wanted to record down how i feel today before i sleep, so no matter what i must finish this entry. (will upload the photos tomorrow...)

celebrated my 22nd (oh yes 22nd) with my jC friends on the exaCt day. it wAs simple. we had a dinner @ somewhere neard orchard and afterwhich we went to coffee club @ clarke quay. having probably the same routine, we chatted all the way from 8pm to near 3am. yes. 7 hours. hahaha. and it is surprising that there were no "cold times". dinner was nice with really delicious mango crumble. (5 stars aka a-must-try.) actually wanted to take a picture with them but i guess theY are always shY. ha. so it is oKie.

10 hours ago, i celebrated mY 22nd with my secondAry schooL cliqUe. the usual funnY buncH. haha. i appreciate the fact that i can be myself and laugh out loud in front of them. we had a cooKing comPetition @ alvin's house. i thought it was quite special considered that most people wouldn't like cooking. ha. personally, i am a cooking idiot. ha. so cooking is never easy for me. i wouldn't go into the process. but i thank everyone for making this occassion a tiring yet HAPPY event. thanks to alvin cause we probably dirtied his place...and also thanks to alvin & ll for the salmon penne; thanks to mervy and jocelyn for the time spent to fry the black pepper and herbal chicken(though the herbal chicken got churned into shreds and pieces after boiling for 5 hours...lolz.) ..and also mervy for sending us home...thanks to melissa and weiying who did a "soft-serve jelly dessert" (which i cannot recall the jap name)...thanks to jiamin and mingwei for the unexpected "well-taste" "fried bread with minced meat" that is in a non-thai style. haha. and of course, the DIY card, the presents and of course not forgetting the "2 doraemons"that are crippled and handicapped. hahaz..

there was something that i would love to share but i didn't had the chance to...it kept buzzing in my mind. anyway, this would be a really unforgettable day for me. not forgetting rachel, who sms-ed me from her "morley" place in very farfaraway land!!

AND~ because of that, i will put even more heart into every birthday of each and everyone of my friends who made this day special and possible. though i cannot promise something big, it will be special too. = )

many great thanks.

smile always
take care
(YanXing)2010

Sweet-ed <3
10:59 AM


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

a few more hours before 22.
wow. come to think of it, i remembered saying "how old" when i heard someone saying 22.
and yes. i am 22. but giving it a second thought, it is not that bad either.
probably time is telling me to become more mature. i guess.

so what were my last few days of 21 like? it was like a roller-coaster ride.
i couldnt be as lucky as i have thought. stepping on something anonymous on sunday caused me to have a high fever the next day. i thought it was nothing serious but it ended up to be a viral infection. it is quite sad to know that you are ill when you don't even know why you are ill. and to think of the fact that i will get skinnier...that is really upsetting. i guess the only positive thing is that i got to sleep non-stop for the past 3 days. it has been long cycles of sleeping...oh and i had a jab on my butt. normally someone wouldn't feel painful; but because my butt is not very full (rounded) with lots of "meat", so it was quite "ouch". ha. i guess i should accept this as a special present before i turn 22.

time tells.
sometimes it tells too much.

smile always
take care
(yanxing)2010

Sweet-ed <3
2:42 AM


Wednesday, May 12, 2010

i am having a 3 months holiday starting from last week.
it gets pretty boring if you are not working. but my body ask me to rest. lolz.

slacking is an ART too. hahaha. (probably get killed).
you need to plan what you have to do so that you don't ROT. hahaha. too much craps.

oh. blogged todae because i felt like blogging.
hmmz. i find that it seem to be difficult to be myself.

not that i am acting on the logo of "service before self", but to a certain extent that i find myself losing myself at times. lost at a definition that i do not wish to admit. and it gets quite scary @ certain periods of times.

just when i want to backtrack to discover myself more, there are just more obstacles. queries about why such a change. and more and more...sometimes i don't even know what i am doing. that is obviously not very good. but...i guess this is part of a life experience. that is what i have been always trying to convince myself. no matter how complicated things can get, it is just how we think that makes it seem complicated. isn't it. i always try and ask myself is what i am doing morally right. or am i thinking too much. there are so many OS that runs through within split seconds. probably LOST... okie. this topic is too heavygoing. lolz.

oH i hoPe i can grow a bit fattEr. but not in the wrong area. (like the tummy for instance.) i wonder wHy it is so difficult to get rid of that flabs. when my hands are so skinny. and i found the textbook that i have been finding for a week! Social Studies Sec 3 textbook. whole of Singapore oni 1 "P" branch has it. i am quite amazed by how books are distributed in different branches nowadays. lolz.

had the chance to go to 933 station on monday. and wow. the dj's (pf and dennis chew) are really nice! i thought they were really sincere and friendly people.

smile always
take care
(yanXing)2010

Sweet-ed <3
8:35 AM


Friday, May 07, 2010

YippEE! another semester is finally over. 4 months + in school feels like so fast; yet u can't wait for the day to pass asap. i hadn't been very self-disciplined (i suppose) this semester, though i keep tellng myself not to slack. but can i blame it on the weather?? lolz. cause it is really hot. REALLY HOT.

i hAven decided whether to work or not. will probably live off with tuitions. cause i need time for my eyes to rest. hahaha. to put it simply, i am just lazy to find JOBS. haVe been eating and eating since the holidays started (for 3 days) and it feels...nothing much. just to give urself a pat to tell urself that u finished a semester! lolz.

this week is mother's day. everyone will be very busy with their celebrations, i guess. it just makes me ponder sometimes. i received a call from someone who hasn't called me for a long time today. it feels complicated, even it was only for like 10 seconds. i hate the fact that people have feelings. it feels weak to forgive people sometimes when rationally you are not suppose to. but anyway. happy mother's day to every mother who have did their utmost to ensure that their children live in a happy environment. that applies to my mum of course. = ) ~~ but i am sorry that we don't really have a celebration for her. well. let's not talk too much. oops.

certain things in life are difficult to balance. so we can't expect to have the best of both worlds. being too realistic is unfortunately not too good at times. that was one of the conclusions that my friend and i derived when we were eating after exams. and sadly we are both too realistic. hahaha. and our conclusion was...we came from neighbourhood schs! hahahaz. (oops sorry ah.)

i hope i can hold on to an opportunity. though it is going to be tough. i guess.

it is only when u are at your most difficult times, you seem to realise who are the ones that are important to your life. this semester sort of made me realise that at certain times, we are forgotten and we have to understand that we have to accept it. though it sounds kind of saddening. i guess this is all part of life. we are just part of each other, holding on. yet some choose to turn the tap on and turn the tap off sometimes. according to their needs and wants. clearly sacrifices can never be made in this case. but that is probably too demanding. so the more i should take it back. and eat in my "demands".


oh there are so many people i need to thank for this semester. those who will there for me when i was feeling horrible during the exams (i know all of us does but well this semester is especially gruelling); those who will listen to my complaints at times; my aunty, my sister and my mother who is always there to tolerate my nonsense. (oops, this is not a thank-you speech though.) i am just glad that they accept me as who i am. the one who talks to the wall sometimes when revising and probably sweat 3 litres of water during the hot afternoons. and many more of course. be it a call or a short meet-up during the whole of the semester. it is definitely very important in motivating me to go on... alright.

talking too much craps.
that is all then
so for all those who have ended ur exams like me...

ENJOY THIS HOLIDAY!!!
PLAY HARD = )
smile always
take care
(yAnxing)2010

Sweet-ed <3
10:40 AM