Thursday, July 11, 2013
today. or yesterday i would say. was a rather complicated day.
i didn't had the courage to watch my friends graduate although 1/2 the time i had to self-blame myself for well...i could have probably chosen another path. the fact that i feel so much closer with my current batch of Uni friends unexpectedly makes me feel even worse to see them going to their new phase of life [together?]. it's like...i have to re-adapt everything. once again.
complications apparently arise from many different issues. i don't know what really makes 25. or what really makes me as a person. I have never tried to recognize who I am or in fact I am already who I am. There are certain rules and regulations that seem to bound my life, there are certain boundaries that I will never cross, there are certain habits or lifestyles that i wouldn't choose, and there are certain people whom I will never want to interact with.
complications also arise from love. sometimes, i really wish i had the capability of being emotion-less. When things start to get questioning, it becomes taxing. Taxing to either parties. When emotions are drained, I can't help but hope to be like a cold-blooded murderer. No doubt I will be stabbed and hated for life by many, I guess this OS is hidden by many. We all wish the one that we liked would be the one we would love and everything would just be smooth-sailing. About having good looks, good character, good personality and good behavior...that was what i believe most people would have thought and looked for. Slowly after, you realize that all the good things doesn't add or equate to a good partner. Everyone is seeking love. True love. But in reality, how true can love be? Yes, i adore those family portraits. i still find couples sweet. I do believe they live happily ever after. But being skeptical is not without reason?
If everything could be understood without explanation, i guess that would be wonderful...
Monday, July 08, 2013
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
希望每个人都能了解自己的处境，几乎不可能。长大之后，大家各自有各自的忧虑与烦恼。每个人都有不快乐的时候，也有不快乐的权利。但，我希望，有一天，有人也会知道我也有 沮丧崩溃的时候。要躲在黑暗的角落放肆地大哭如此可悲。但，或许更多的是自作自受。 经过了几番劝解，仍是忠言逆耳。人到如此，或已无可救药。惟有自救。