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Y


Monday, June 20, 2011

it is extremely rare that the computer lab in school is empty.
so it kinds of feel great. coming back to school during vacation time.
though you still see students from all over the world at this pt in time.

i was feeling rather complicated when i stepped back into school.
it has been such a long time. like 7 mths already.
what a long vacation i had. and so many things had happened.
i wish things would be normal when school resumes.
and i will be able to carry on the way i used to study.

despite the countless number of dark circles surrounding my eyes now.
i think it has a radius of about 10cm.
that is really quite freaky huh.
maybe i am just born wif it. lolz.

i will still think of the fact that i actually got 1 sem delayed.
which. i am still kind of upset. when i come to think abt it sometimes.
but afterall, it was a choice that i picked.
i was simply too exhausted from the stress that i gave to myself.
but i believe this is the way it should go.
and i hope i will be able to maintain or motivate myself more
when the new sem starts.

but before that,
i have another transition waiting for me.
it is a really short one but i hope things will turn out fine.
and it is going to start real soon.

i hope my friends are all doing well too.
i believe they will.

smile always
take care
(yaNxing)2011

Sweet-ed <3
7:19 PM


Saturday, June 11, 2011

放了好长好长的假期。
差不多从以前到现在已经将近半年了。

很夸张吧。好长的假期。
连我敢到无比的可怕。
可怕在于,在休息的每一刻,我已经渐渐忘了原来的我是什么样子了。

在追求些什么呢?
心理是否得到应有的平静和快乐呢?
我真的让自己好好地休息了吗?

我好像需要和自己一个人好好地谈一谈。
像疯子一般?
也不到如此。只是。我很自私,所以很希望有这样私人的空间看看自己。

我只是很像单纯地找回自己最喜欢的生活步伐。
同时又能兼顾到自己的心头感受。

现在的我,思绪太复杂,容易被无聊的事情给牵绊着。
然后过着自己偶尔也会怀疑的生活。
因此,我会觉得好恐怖。

再这样下去,我应该真的会很彷徨。
我其实也不需要别人来了解。因为我自己本身复杂得连自己也觉得好可怕。

只要1个星期就好。
让我好好思考。
我该如何看待接下来的日子。
如果真的没有思考地活下去,
我会过得很累。
身边的人看到我也会累吧。

不好意思咯。

smile always
take care
(yAnxing)2011

Sweet-ed <3
10:20 AM


Thursday, June 02, 2011

如果有如果。
真是一个很特别的世界。

还有什么说不出口。
就有一本字典那么厚的话没说。

你了解吗?
说了总是多余。
如果只是装着懂我,
然后就如此,
我看不出有什么好的地方。

这是我的罪过,
也无法赎罪。

悲观的一面是这么说着的。

就什么也不想了吧。
然后横冲直撞。
方向可以是美好的。
然后看见彩虹,阳光和幸福。

美好的未来就在前方。
只要在咬紧牙关一些,
只要在让自己松懈一些。

了观的一面是这么鼓励着的。

于是,
两者不断挣扎着。
从来没有所谓的结果。

知道吗?
smile always
take care
(yAnxing)2011

Sweet-ed <3
7:59 AM