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Y


Friday, August 12, 2011

如果有发现到会察觉我最近写的其实可以归类为两个字:废话。

这几次所打出来的字眼其实很多时候,就连我也不知道我是否真的这么想。
我想10年之后应该会觉得自己很幼稚吧。

school has finally started.
i am trying to get use to waking up early to get to school. so far.
still love the journey when i am on the train and on the bus.
probably because no one actually knows me. so it is really great. at times.

i realise i cant really tirate many things well in life.
apparently there are so much things for me to learn besides studying. of coz.
though i would say studying is part of my life. it will probably go on.

i tend to lose my balance and forget things sometimes.
reminding myself doesn't always seem easy, but i will try hard.
i need to stick to my goal, my aim and probably for now,
that is the most important priority.

i remember i was walking (probably like 10 years or 15 years ago),
i was walking pass this shop with my aunty and my siblings,
we saw this really cute statues that were smiling.
i remember the message from them till now.
sadly, i havent been doing too well but i believe i will try.
the world is too complex to understand,
what's more understanding a person.

不听,不看,不说
我会很努力地去做到。
让自己在这慌乱多变的人与社会之间找到属于自己的宁静。
毕竟我也已经23岁了。
该是时候让自己不要这么彷徨了。

加油。
yanxing
smiLe alwayS
take CarE(2011)

Sweet-ed <3
12:02 PM


Monday, August 08, 2011

这是我的部落格。私人的空间。
写什么,我相信应该都有一定的权利。
被束缚得太久,人会变得沉默,然后无趣。

我想因此,把我想说的都说出来。没有责任地说。

我们都认为。我们也深信。
人总是美好的。当我们呱呱坠地的时候,我们就有着这样的观念。
渐渐地,因为生活被社会现实所框架着,这样的想法受到了一定的扭曲。
开始觉得人并没有想象的美好。
甚至有一些与自己的想法有太大的出入的人。出现在和自己同样的星球上。
因为共存着,所以我们必须习惯,接受,容纳。

我呢?
很多时候,我无意识地习惯着生活。
安于现状,然后就这样地发呆者。
在遇到人生的一些挫折时,不是选择逃避就是选择用另一件事来掩盖之前的事情。
就这样,不停地继续地生活。
因为不喜欢冷场,所以娱乐大众。看到其他人笑,为自己能够都逗乐别人而感到开心。
所以当我沉默时,短短地5分钟,就会被归类为“你今天还好吗?”“你很奇怪!”
渐渐地,我远离沉默许久。
在生活中,我成了话匣子。只要觉得有空隙的时间我就觉得不自在。
有时候,说的笑话根本一点都不好笑,还要顾虑别人的反应。
甚至偶尔觉得自己很白痴。
或许,这是我至少觉得自己可以发挥所长的地方。
反正, 我也找不到其他理由说明别人和我攀谈的原因。

所以,我偶尔觉得自己有些可悲。
连好好地做自己的勇气也没有。
付出了很多,也不见得会被珍惜。社会就是这样运作着。
但是我必须告诉我自己,我一定要这么做。
因为如果我连最基本的付出都做不到,那么我也没有什么生存的意义了。

但是因为如此,很多时候我忘了看看自己。
自己是否对得起自己。
对得起自己并不是说要宠爱自己。
是发自内心的对得起自己。

这个漫长的假期。直到现在,我才真正了解。体会。
我需要的不是人们眼中所谓的缺乏。
现在的我。
只希望能够努力。
努力地往自己的梦想出发。努力地学着做自己。
当然,在这样的过程中,我会失去一些什么。
但是人生本来就如此。不完美也是一种美。是吧?

明天起。
我想重新整理。
为自己的未来好好打算。
也不要辜负对我好的亲人和朋友。

失去了联络。
忘记了名字。
看清了生活。
放下了情感。
卸下了面具。

我要加倍地用心与努力。
好好地努力。才对得起自己。

smile always
take care
(yaNxing)2011





Sweet-ed <3
9:49 AM


Wednesday, August 03, 2011

我喜欢小叮当。
应该已经是不争的事实了吧。
至少认识我的人都知道我有多地向往拥有它。哈。

it has been my favourite since 1998.
when i was primary 4, i got this really cute doraemon keychain from my aunty.
the doraemon was hugging on to a doraemon. sadly, i lost it.
but from then on, my love for doraemon probably never end.

but the reason for liking it becomes different as i grow older.
initially, i loved it because of everything that i can find in its pocket, and its circular and short blue figure. like the "zhu qing ting" and "ren yi men" or even the "yin xing tou peng". all so cool. u can fly around, go anywhere u like, dont have to study for exams bla bla bla.

so i wish i was like nobita. cause nobita is so cute too! hahaha. and he found his love even though he wasnt really smart like 20 years or 30 years later. and shizuka is so cute. lolz.

nOw, i love doraeMon still. maybe not as craZy. buT it has becOme part of mY life. which i Hope i caN.
doraEmon is always out there. helping those in need. the ones who are bullieD. and doraeMon's worLd is really simple. everybody are friends and they live happily together everyday. no troubles. some little arguments but at the end of the day, each character lives in a happy family. and they have the best friends in the world. i wish i was part of ah fu, ji an, yi jing and da xiong sometimes. lol.
then again, i am dreaming of course.

当我觉得很累的时候,世界太乱的时候,不知道该做什么抉择的时候,
我都喜欢看小叮当。
它会让我记得我最初的梦想。会让我对社会,对人有更美好的想法。
让我觉得我要想他一样,对人好一点,再宽容一点。
他让我觉得我不是孤单的。因为我相信有一天,它会出现。(有点傻)
但是我想我们都希望自己都有它。
不是吗。哈。

i wish it would be here.
now.
lol.

yanxing
smile always
take care (2011)

Sweet-ed <3
11:51 AM