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Y


Monday, January 30, 2006

orh!!!

mine***i cannot imagine there are so many changes in this week.

some good things,
some bad things.
some remain the same.

just as i have said, i have to live alone in school. i don't know why. i feel so empty. all i want to do was sleep during chinese new year. yes and i did. first day i slept for 14 hours. 2nd day i slept for 11 hours...what a waste of time, but i just wanted to take a good break before i have to move on with the hectic life i am having. thanks for all the encouragment in the tag....reallz thanks : )

hMMx. at this point, i know sooner or later i will have to lose contact with a close friend, but that seemed difficult. because i know how to "zuo ren". wadever. okie hahax.

走在寂寞公路
感觉有点疲倦
总会多了什么
总会少了什么
他们出现了
他们离开了
我却依然站在原点
然后消失了...

actualli i have no idea what i am typing,
just trying to sound very pro hahax. hahax = o

heex.


smile always
(take care)
xing 06

Sweet-ed <3
7:07 AM


Wednesday, January 25, 2006

i am extremely confused.....
that is how i should start a statement.


hahax.
actually i am confused too, seriously.
not knowing when to say the right thing,
when to do the correct actions.

i am feeling guilty at times.
but that is how my mind goes.
no choice.
i like to talk and afterwhich, when there is another change, then i will feel definitely guilty.

therefore, i just don't know who i am.
i am someone who cannot have a strong stand.
that is not something good at all.

i will try hard to practice...

******************************

okie, another thing.
i don't know why people like to get upset with me.
i know i have always been hurting people unintentionally.
please tell me.
or i will never know.
in the end it does not help both parties.
and no one will say sorry.
maybe it will only be ME.
life is just so unfair
when you want to treat someone nicely
they don't wish you to take them seriously.
i really don't know what is wrong with me,
for typing such a rhythmic entry.... : )


*ya....rebel, it is time to meet le...so long never see your liew*....


xing
smile always
take care
2006
just want to stay happy.

: )

Sweet-ed <3
11:24 PM


Monday, January 23, 2006

i just realise...
from todae onwards...

i have to rely on myself more...


我一定办得到...


take care
smile always
(yX)

Sweet-ed <3
6:04 AM


Thursday, January 19, 2006

orh...orh...orh...

orh...orh

orh

that is all i can say.
hahax.

i finalli released part of my stress yesterday.
a bit useless, that is what i think.
too bad, i am not a nice person.
that is why.
i had to UNLOAD
so that i can fill up my bottle again...from TODAY.
it should not be empty,
cause i think that that is IMPOSSIBLE.

but i should be contented with what i have now.
though i have said that for many times.
hahax.

straighten out my thoughts.
really should not ponder too much.
some things should be taken as the simplest way.

to translate in english:

got is got.
don have is don have.

heeX :)


we always put say "We want a brand NEW start".
but how many people can actually do it lo.
beats me.
but then...
there is always the possible from the impossible.

that is what i hope.
i don't want a brand new start,
but i want a brand new wish,
a brand new me,
a brand new time.
haha.


it is time for me
to look things with a more optimistic view.
hopefully i won't be fooled throughout the way.

stay happy,
and wishing everyone a happier week 4 to whoever who browses this entry!

smile always
(take care)
xing 06

Sweet-ed <3
9:34 PM


Monday, January 16, 2006

77th post...finalli i manage to take a breather from the pile and stacks and tons of homework...and manage to squeeze 5 minutes of my time to type in this entry.

3rd week of school life...
yet the pressure is already intense....
not trying to bluff, and obviousli not trying to be joking.

it is simply....
things often don't turn out for the better.
a change in my mood has suddenli turned out to be more frequent.
which is not in tune with my logic of being a better person in 2006...

TRYING HARD.

i don noe....todae morning i felt especially terrible. not terrible. too strong a word. just upset.
suddenli i feel that i am living in a world of my OWN.

not meeting my rebel clique seemed like i have not met them for 3 years.
i don't know why. it won't be that bad normally.
but it was that bad that moment. EXACTLY.
i wish i could have poured all my complaints and stress to them.

walking alone in school is sometimes tiring. emotionally tired. u just feel like u get drained. Year 2 is just...

but i have to adapt.
to the coming changes
or has things already change.
without me knowing.

problems who i have no one to turn when i am facing the canteen,
turning around to see corners and corners,
when all my friends are all in their other journeys.
i cannot possibly still take their time.
as many should know,
my character is just complicated.
it is something bad.
cox i want it to remain simple.
just SIMPLE.



NO.
i must be strong.
what i am facing now
is just something tiny
compared to those out there.
i should look forward.
and not trip.
even though there is a set-up.
even though when i have to face accusations.

look forward to Chinesen New Year.
suddenli.

smile always
take care
(yX)

Sweet-ed <3
6:06 AM


Sunday, January 08, 2006

heyx....
soree for creating such a disruption.
i am not talking abt anyone who thought i was talking about them. hahax. : )

so well don think too much.

after a week of thought, from the commotions created, actualli i feel that everyone of us should move back to the starting point, to understand one another.

i don't understand the point of competing in the first week of school.
it is realli too stressful..

this is my message to my heartiest clique in JC:

changes are meant to be made in life. made for the better. i do hope one day we can really put down all our hard feelings we had or have previousl and move on really happy. though it is veri difficult. but we have to start on with the first step. we cannot let our emotions get ahead of us. no matter what happened the previous year, the previous time, the previous week................

can we just put them everything away and re-start from a new starting point???
a new starting point to keep us afresh ahead. i am sorry for what i have done to hurt people last year and i want to make a brand new start. just like what everyone of us do. so, maybe it is time for us to take a brand new step....and battle together for A levels', rather than doing it ourselves and trying to make each one of us as competitior. anything that sounded hurting or whatsoever will be forgotten from 9/1/2006.....because i am moving on. what about you?

let's just be real and live our life happily for this time.
and get back to the original point.
where it is still the 5 of us.

we have to stay on as friends.
give this another chance.
seriously.

take care
smile always
(yX)
9/1/06

Sweet-ed <3
7:35 AM


Saturday, January 07, 2006

i hate being accused...i HATE it and i mean it.

i cannot believe why people like to make accusations.
to me, that is even worse than backstabbing.

can they see properly before they say anything?
no.they can't
they are too impatient.


okie.
slacking le
must stop slacking
work hard.
hopefully

smile always
take care
(yX)

Sweet-ed <3
7:30 AM


Sunday, January 01, 2006

okie...this will be my first post that i address on 2006.

first day of school coming.
got lots of things for me to settle.

1) 2 tests coming up
2) CCA form
3) blogging
4) saying happy new year to one and all.

and so many more things.
hahax.

just saw my new timetable.
it was alright.

what i am worried is coming.
nearing ME.
i want to stop it.

i told myself that that time aiya still got 1 more month mah.
den we settle lo.
now, left 1 day.
but nothing done.
but i think am going to leave it unchange.

i will still be the same me.
sorry for my friends who see me leaving very early from school once i finish everything.
i just want to take a break
rest
and
i just need my true friends to lend me a hand and support me.
hahax.
rebel
interact
jc
that's all.

smile always
take care
(yX)

Sweet-ed <3
8:47 AM



2005.

i have to bid goodbye. unwillingly.

*******

2005. a year of contentment.

this is definitely a year of contentment for me. things turn out alright. have a group of jc friends, my great rebel clique that will stay forever, my interact group of friends who will meet every month, my supportive family who is behind me, results that i did worked hard for....life is simple. i am contented. really.

but 2006. i cannot even dare to think of the top 5 fears.
but i must not think of them as that.
2006 should then be the test of friendship.
that is what i seriously think.

2006. i just wish it is a continuation of 2005. in some parts. not in some parts.
looking forward to? hmmx. i don know.

i will work hard this year. so that i will not blame myself at the end of the year.
jc will definitely not be my second home. definitely not.
that does not mean i don't like my school.
just NOT.
haha.

i will do what i should do. just like last year. i will like what i like and what i dislike. nothing will change. NOTHING.

friendships that are good will grow for a stronger one.
hardwork will be paid off.
wishes that are made will one day come true.
i do hope.


2006.
i have still the same 5 wishes. a bit greedy.
but i hope they will stay.
hahax.

i will be myself. at the right time.
hahax.



take care
smile always
(yX)

Sweet-ed <3
8:34 AM



everything needs a transistion. a transistion in life to move on to a brand new chapter.

first, talk about my last day of 2005.

at around 11am, the 10 of us met together at marina k box. it was celebration for jocelyn birthday and she was especially high that day. hahax. ern erm. then jia min sung quite a lot too. hahax. first time hear lei. "live" worx.

so 3pm...off i went to work with jm,rach,elf,mw and hh....wa....den we go for training.....and ate at subway before we proceeded to work at 7pm +++. work kicked off at 8pm. i was standing alone at marina bay...sorta boring. standing in myself w/o doing anything for 5 hours. how boring can it be. but it didn't turn out very bad. just that from 8pm to 9pm i was tired, 9pm to 10pm was sleepy...hahax. the place was obviousli crowded. by 11pm, i was practically going to be squeezed so i went to a corner and continued my job. at around 11:55pm, the display lights came and den when the clock strikes 12...it was 2006!!! 10 minutes of firework...and i can just say 100 wows! very beautiful. the moment the colours came....looking at the fireworks, it gave me all my flashbacks of 2005......i was touched and happy at the same time. it was BEAUTIFUL.


........traffic counting ended at 2am.........
and i reached home at 4:30am..... : ) -1/1/2006


**********************************************************************************

Sweet-ed <3
8:13 AM