Saturday, December 25, 2004
I haven sleep yet when it is oredi 4:15am le...well, guess tat is the plain logic of staying overnite ba...haha quite happie actualli....the 5 of us staying back..okie let me cont'd to talk abt wat happen in melissa's house...well, after dinner, then we cont'd to play decks of cards, had our gift exchange which was quite fun and true...Anyway, after that, Jocelyn joined in and then Wei Ying, Rachel and Mervy plus LL had to leave cox they can't stay... we watched a DVD introduced by WY which was considered to be humotous but i tot it was okie onie....nOt tat funie actualli...:)
Now 2 out of 5 have climbed to bed....:)
Well, time to talk abt what i realli feel duRing this deCember holiDaYs....I see a lot of Sec 4 graduates start to have BGR...sorta of like a relationship le..And people start to ask me whether I hav ani one in mInd...soMetimes i juX have to force myself to give a rather Okie Answer, whicH is onie not totally tRue...the Reason is tHe time is not right and I don't have anyone in mind....Not for the moment, at least...:) Life is actualli very fufilling already...Ya, maybe having a BGR can create some excitment in life...but I juX feel tat if U are realli not going forTRUE LOVE, then think twice lo...Why hurt yourself? Some might aruge that happy processes do come by...well that is true and I can't deny...:) But, it really depends on whether a person does have the commitment or not, and it is true.Just like one of my friends who have a BGR for 2 yrs le...that is real commitment...and i am very "pei fu" ! So, realli, think hard...
EnoUgh of that...anyway my group had a session where we talked abt each other's flaws...and I must realli say all their pointers were quite right at me..Actualli i don't have a definition for myself and I am a realli contradicting person, ya...I think my life is mixed up of a lot of puzzles..at least for this moment, i am stil a happie person, but the next moment, i can juX be sad again....Anyway, some people say i am quite noT myself, well, actualli who dun want to be themselves and just onie themselves?? Me too...but sometimes circumstances make us not ourselves...I just dunno why sometimes I tend to get veri lame, sometimes I tend to get attention, sometimes I tend to want to mix in to some groups, sometimes i tend to be split-personality....Realli dunno...I am neither here nor there lolx....But all this are realli not the ME...maybe part of humorous, part of cracking jokes and part of being talkative and part of wanting to know more friends is me...but, what is the REAL me? Beats Me....haha :)
Still trying to think hard ba...
Maybe, one day if i find my identity, I will tell everyone... : )
MerrY X'maS and HoPe all wisHes come TRue....InCluding Mine!!! :)