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Thursday, January 27, 2011

was quite tired yesterday.
so i actually lie down on the bed @ 3am. lolz.
and what was more eventful was that i couldnt slp all the way till 6am. wahahaha.
just closed my eyes, thoughtless, and it doesnt feel too good la.
luckily and fortunately i am feeling quite fine todaY.

i wiLL probably and shoUld be going for an "escape" to somewhere out of singapore soon.
not really looking forward, but betteR than nothing. lol~

有一些人事物, 这一辈子, 都会留在我们心中,


吃饭,谈心,说笑话, 唱歌,简单地寒暄。。。


smile always
take caRe

Sweet-ed <3
6:34 PM

Saturday, January 15, 2011

it is week 1 of the new semester.
i am totally not following my schedule like wad i always do previously.
not that i am in the mood for exchange-like wow! that's great!
but i am just not ready for school yet.
i fear that feeling. like sleep, sleep and sleep. so it basically makes me loss.

i have so many things that i need to do tie up.
choosing to leave it alone and rot is a really bad idea though.
but rationale doesnt seem to go with emotions. ha.

i want to meet the ppl i have met b4.
wondering how they are doing.
how is their life now.
facing stagnation? moving on like a free bird?
observing others make me reflect my own life too.
kind of. special.

do we. at times. feel that we haven been lying through our teeth.
and we do not know that it is wrong?
i seriously don't like escaping to problems.
i find it a really dumb idea.

如果看了太多, 是否会太现实?


但是。 这样的位置其实最好。

smile always
take care

Sweet-ed <3
6:23 AM

Monday, January 10, 2011

actually i shldn't be starting school tmr.
but some really dumb reasons made things complicated.
so i will just take it like a usual semester.

it is 2011.
and i am already 22.
that is still quite young.
but that also means that i have passed primary and secondary school.
and the many other childhood memories that i have had.
when we were still little
faults were never faults
boundaries were always clear.
emotions were simple.
life was easy.
there was nothing much to worry.
particularly living in Singapore.
i suppose. to the majority.

when we get older.
the responsibilites come.
naturally sink in.
not giving us much time to anticipate.
dealing with complexity
handling "adult" issues
and learning to control never-seen-before emotions.
we lose things, we gain things, we grow things, we throw things.

such transitions.
often make us lose certain things called "identity".
i am learning to pick mine.
not really easy.
when you need to look @ the world.
the big crowd.
that you know, you hear and you think of.
trying to satisfy, trying to bring across, trying to learn as well,
it is all mutual.

i want to head to the right direction.
never loss in the middle of nowhere.
could i?

smile always
take care

Sweet-ed <3
7:35 AM

Sunday, January 09, 2011

woke up in a series of really clear events.
it is the new year and i am glad everything is still going fine.
things are getting better for everyone around me.
though some are not, i believe it will.

this is a small world filled with too many unknowns.
i hope i will live to discover all of them.
and achieve things i want in life.

smile always
take care

Sweet-ed <3
10:56 AM

Saturday, January 01, 2011

i have not blogged for like 11 days.
uh~that is quite long when it is the holidays.
actually i did~just that i didnt feel like posting them.
they are too "raw".

i guess i am a stubborn patient.
after getting discharged and given mcs, i chose to ignore it.
not that i do not know i am sick, just that i don't feel sick. (i mean of course i wouldnt want)
i am just losing strength.
how does it feel like?
actually it is quite scary.

the 1st time i lost my strength.
i was really upset. (within my heart of coz)
i was upset not just because i couldnt pull myself up,
but also i don't like the feeling at all.

in fact i thought lying in the hospital would be ok.
you know, like many friends coming to visit you.
for once, you feel "popular"
but everything seemed wrong.
the atmosphere is awkward.
your friends are staring at you.
you repeat the same questions.
you feel terribly weak.
and you don't really wish to say much.
despite the fact that you appreciate your friends for coming.
oh~and the visiting hours is really bad.

so i got discharge, thinking i would be a good fellow.
but this idea seemed totally out of place.
i am really upset about the idea that staying late is getting tough for me nowadays.
i realise my strength gets a lot weaker at late nights.
especially my lower limbs.
my machine gets cramp at times.
i really don't like this feeling.
because i seriously love going out at night-like 1am or so.
i mean i do rest-just that i sleep all the way till the afternoon.

but i know what i should do.
just that my heart isnt following so.
and talking about that,

i think my heart is not feeling too well.
both physically and mentally.
oh~i think it is a bad thing to say such things in the 1st day of new year?

basically, i want to clear everything up.
my books, my notes, my emotions, my health.
i hope they are all going to be cleared clean and good.

sometimes i will like tell my friends how uncomfortable i am feeling.
but i think that makes me very 12 year old.
someone who likes to grumble for nothing.
so i choose to keep.
and i hate the idea of chatterbox.
though i know i am probably unknowingly one.

whatever the case is,
i hope 2011 would be a promising year.
this blog is really much alright.
i had a 1st 2011 blog that was too emotional.
so i practically put it under "draft" so that ppl won't ask me what happened.

when i have enough confident, i will probably publish all my "Drafts".

life goes on.
i will live on for my dreams.
just like most of us does.

smile always
Take care

Sweet-ed <3
11:04 AM