Doraemon

Friday, December 25, 2009

it is getting harder to type entries.
especially you know that the whole world can read it after typing, so you will probably hide some within yourselves. but i hate the fact that we have to conceal so many things in our lives. it can be quite a tough challenge to deal with.

2009 is coming to an end. one more week to a brand new year.
i am actually looking forward to 2010. and just because it is a nice number. ha.

2009 is the year when i become 21, but i don't feel 21.
but just as every year goes by, is it true that our energy level decreases? lolz. i hope this is not true because earli 20's should be the "prime age" in terms of energy level? lolz.

there are so many things that i want to say. but. there are so many things that are stopping me. it gets to my throat and falls back again. this feeling is irritating. i guess that is 1 responsibility we have to learn as we grow older. that we can't always express what we want to say. of coz, i mean freedom of speech, there is nothing wrong wif that, but we must think of the consequences at times too. (so u just have a lot of OS!) lolz~~~

christmas was fun. it is always the people that makes me happy. = ) sometimes i wonder how long such annual events can last....(i mean if we were to carry on @ age 60....it will be like??? 10 ppl in the old folks home?) lolz.

2010. i wish i have a space of my own. i wish that i have some peace. i wish to continue to have what i have. i wish to be myself and stay happy and that everyone who knows me is happy (oops. i hope this doesn't sound fake ok.)

smile always
take care
(yanxing)09

Sweet-ed <3

8:49 AM

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

15th december. i have had 2 weeks of holidays.
to put it simply, i admit that this 2 weeks had not been too rewarding. (not rewarding in the sense that i did nothing to improve my IQ. haha. been slacking a lot. )

but i have effectively been doing nothing much after the last paper. cause the terror of the last paper still has a dramatic impact on me. i am like.......i hope i am not waiting for something bad. ha. (anyway, if you don't understand what i am trying to say, it just shows that my english is really quite bad.) hahaha. i have done some things but i am not sure whether it is worth it cause they are al long-term plans.

就是少了一份踏实感。

probably it is time to pack up and move on.

该是时候搬家了。

may all be fine and well.

smile always
take care
(yanxing)2009

Sweet-ed <3

6:09 AM

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

第一学期终于过了。
我也终于有闲情在无人干扰的凌晨时分对着自己自言自语。
大学，我记得，小学的时候，是多么令人向往啊。。。
人们就会说去大学是一件很了不起的事。
家里的人会有 ”金“贴在脸上。。。哈。
然后等到终于有机会的时候才会发觉为何大学会称为大学了。
这是一种无形的压力。虽然没有人鞭策你，可是你依然知道你要好好地努力。
毕竟，这已经是在读书的旅程中至关重要的一步了。

有时候把梦编织得太美丽或许只会让自己失望。
3 个月的时间，我发现原来我那么无法和人好好沟通。这样的相处之道，我好像永远学不会。

让我自己更失望的是，我并没有努力地鞭策自己。当我知道我该好好努力的时候，竟然会花时间去看电视。哈哈。但我不否认，这段旅程在过程中是有一些寂寞的。就好像很想去相信一个人，这种信任很容易地就被瓦解了。或者是我自己的保护色太强了吧。

但现在的我在学府里，或许与世无争是最好的吧。做好自己的本分，努力地不去胡思乱想，不说别人的是非，不去妒忌别人的成就。但真的有一些难，所以我还在努力地学习，希望有一天自己能够不被这些外界的因素影响。

我记得很小的时候我的阿姨让我看了3 个小和尚--不听，不看，不说--我何时能够达到这样的心态呢？幸好一路以来在我差一点就快越界时，总有人会在我身边听我说一说这些埋怨。我的阿姨总会说“为什么要被这么多的压力绑着呢？--的确，我不想被自己绑死。要对自己好一些，或许也要对别人好一些。

好像说了太多无谓的话了。。。哈。
话虽如此，我真的希望这次的考试会顺利地过关。
虽然我已经听过了不下于50次别人告诉我说“你一定可以过关的啦。。”
我是杞人忧天也好，还是太过悲观也好，我想，人，总会担心的。
毕竟，这个决定是我做的。任何差错，我必须自己负责。而且，很重很重，不想连累他人。

无论如何，
最近有一首歌叫“小星星”很好听。很适合在夜晚的时候聆听。
“天黑的时候我远远陪着你，在小的闪烁也努力放光明。”
很温馨吧。

就是因为世界上还有这些美好的音乐，
我的人生才因而不单调。真的。

smile always
take care
(yanxing)2009

Sweet-ed <3

10:35 AM