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Monday, July 18, 2005

i still don't realise the fact that some things are just not meant to be said....mabi i am too stopit bax.
This is wk 3...term 3...18 july....haha....it is my mother's bdae...also my teacher's brithday...so coincidental.

-->Horoscope says i will meet bad things this week...say that i will get impatient and whatever...and that i must always tell myself the bad times will be over soon...i am normally a neutral party in believing all this stuffs..but this week, i guess i just have to believe it la. I totally felt impatient and moody today...don't know for wadever reasons...it is definitely not because of my friends...so don't worry ya...but my inner emotions just feel awkward, weird ....etc.


And some things are so secretive lar....i just suspect now lo...i know in my mind, 3 things are running....i have to confirm whether my prediction is true...and am 80% sure that it might turn out the way to be....if it is, i hope the ppl can juX admit it...hahax....aniwae, it is something good! : )

I realli wonder why friends like to keep things so secretive @ times...as if friends are strangers. Am i being too paranoid? i don't know lar...juSt feel that life sometimes in JC is realli too BORING and stressing to make me think of many weird things. In secondary school, i was so pre-occupied with stuffs that i don't have thoughts for other things.. Now, my mind just go wild and travel veri far....i don't know why...just W*E*I*R*D...So i heard some surprising news from my friends and a lot of things...

It just made me come to a conclusion while i was on my way walking hOme which took me around 10 mins to sort out my thoughts...is it realli true that people should have different faces when they are at different situations? Ya, it is true that this will be the best to survive in this realistic world but then...it is just so unreal...As for me, i realise that i am doing so too...In front of different group of friends, in front of the school , in front of ....just so many things....it sounds so illogical...but at least, i know where is the real ME...as for that case....it is onli when i am with my realli veri good friends the i am what i supposedly think i am...but you also cannot call that fake because that it just a veri natural reaction. Will you talk back to your teacher if u did something wrong ? No right? Just like what i heard from the GP lecturer today....at different points, we have different responsibility to fufill...in school being a student,being a friend..all this are differet roles. If you finished reading this paragraph, you might re-think about me again...but trust me lar...till NOW....i AM still ME. contradicting hoh? Sometimes i just don't feel like talking...sometimes i can talk a lot...but i just don't know why...

I am getting tired of JC life....it has only been 7 months....I guess i have to re-charge my battery to sustain till December so that i can get to meet all my wonderful friends....: ) realli waiting for that time to come. sometimes in JC life...even though got a lot of friends with me...i still feel like singing "Ye Zi"....hahax.especially the chorus. : ( so pessimistic ah. hahax....ok la.

friends out there....are you still trying to search for your real self? I don't think it is too late to do now....for as for me....i have been working veri hard...

and i guess...
i am kNowinG who I am...
Now..
that makes me.
: )

Smile always
(yX)

Sweet-ed <3
3:40 PM